Asking For a Friend | Chapter 14
Advice from Babe to Babe
Asking For a Friend was inspired by the community and companionship we saw within our own BWH Contributors group, where our babes came to each other from all industries to seek advice, share resources, and engage in straight up real talk. Since launching the advice column and collecting questions from readers everywhere, we’ve learned as much from asking questions as we have from answering them. We thought it was a good idea to stay true to our Babe-to-Babe beginnings and feature the questions our own babes and writers have asked and answered for each other! Read up, and ask away.
I always think of it as taking initiative. Instead of just asking if they're hiring, I'd tell them you're new to the area and would love to meet for coffee and see how you can get involved with the company, whether as a teacher or as a receptionist to get your foot in the door before they open. It can never hurt!
—CHELSEA DUDEVOIRE, CEO
I think it’s fine to reach out via social media, but I think the best thing to do is introduce yourself and ask for an email address to reach out to about job opportunities.
—KAYLA BECKMAN BARNHART, BABE #85
For a small business like that, I think it's totally kosher. I recently hit my yoga studio up on DM asking if they need any help at the desk, and they were like, "yessss we have this whole yoga rewards program!" They were stoked to let me know about opportunities.
—OLIVIA WILSON, BABE #51
From a serial over-sharer, i just want to say to you and to all women reading this: share exactly what you want to and what makes you happy on your social media. I’d rather follow someone genuinely being themselves than someone meticulously curating everything. Don’t feel self-conscious for sharing with your followers/friends.
—SANDY RUSSO, CONTRIBUTOR
I am widely known amongst friends and acquaintances as the bleeding heart, angry feminist, soap box speaker — and I'm okay with that. Don't ever feel obligated to shrink yourself and what you care about for the comfort of others.
—LINDSAY BOWYER, CONTRIBUTOR
This happened on my personal account after the women’s march when my sign for the march was popular. I personally chose not to respond, but I didn’t delete either. The way I see it, if someone feels passionately enough to comment hatefully on someone’s post or page, engaging with them on social media isn’t going to change their opinion and will probably do more damage than good. For my own peace of mind, I chose to protect my emotional space and let them say what they wanted while it fell on deaf ears. In the end, the positive outweighed the negative.
Don't engage. Don't respond. Don't feed the trolls. They're looking to get a rise out of you, and you deflate their power when you don't justify them with one.
I own a social media agency, and I tell my clients (and they agree) that all hateful comments will be deleted and if the problem persists, that person will be blocked. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
There’s definitely a fine line. I’d recommend deleting and/or blocking anything outright hateful. Then perhaps having a super short and simple prefabricated response for anything that you feel doesn’t warrant a delete but needs to be addressed. For example, “We respect everyone’s opinion, though yours doesn’t represent our own. We won’t be offended if you choose not to follow or interact with us”.
But at the end of the day, it’s YOUR page, therefore you create the space you want there. If you’re being triggered on a daily basis by comments, then that’s not healthy for you or your fans. You may even want to consider adding a disclaimer to your bio or the end of your captions that says something along the lines of “I created this space and art to band humans together. Any and all negative comments will not be tolerated.”
Until Next Week,
—THE BWH ADVICE GURUS
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds. Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!