Asking for a Friend | Chapter Five
Advice from Babe to Babe
When it comes down to it, there isn’t a universal rule for this—it’s really about your comfort level with having your professional life blend with your personal one. I find myself trying to navigate this line constantly, especially because social media is one of the main avenues of promotion for my side projects. My general rule of thumb is that if I don’t want people to know about something, I don’t share it publicly (which also includes posting on private profiles). This curation strategy helps eliminate any concerns I may have about coworkers discovering things I don’t want to have to explain, discuss, etc. (and also makes sure there’s nothing out there that would impact my role, create conflicts of interest, etc.).
—DIANA MORRIS, BABE #182
I’ve had weird experiences (because my Twitter and Instagram aren’t private) with coworkers who I'm not even friends with following me and looking at my posts. Sometimes it feels like they're just being nosey. I've also had a crazy boss request me on Facebook (when I was younger and new to the role, without the confidence to decline her request and say I don't do social media with coworkers), then use things I would post against me in professional settings.
My rule of thumb is that I never request anyone. If someone requests me, I take it person by person and think long and hard about close I am with them and if it's necessary and appropriate for us to connect on social media.
—ALEXI STRONG GONZALEZ, CONTRIBUTOR
I'm very picky about who I choose to do this with. I think each friend request or connection needs to be [considered in the context of the other person]. Are they the gossipy type? Do they want something from you? Do they think you want something from them? If it's a genuine friendship you've cultivated at work, I say go for it. If you're unsure, you probably shouldn't. There's not necessarily anything wrong with choosing to do so or not—it's all personal preference. No matter what you choose, make sure it also makes sense for you!
—HILLARY KIRTLAND, CONTRIBUTOR
It's all about the first impressions—whether it’s your first day or your first interview. First, come prepared. I always like to bring a book or a newspaper so I have something to read while I'm waiting in the lobby. I never want to just be scrolling through Instagram! Second, repeat people's names. People take note of the repetition, and it avoids you messing up someone's name in your head for a month before they correct you. Third, wear neutral colored clothing. You want them to remember you, not your lipstick or bright sweater!
—MANDY SHOLD, BABE #154
1. Bring snacks and a water bottle. It's kind of like the first day of school, where you're trying to figure out the lunchtime situation. Will my boss take me out for lunch? Do people bring their lunch? What’s the fridge/microwave situation? I always like to have some snacks with me. Bringing some things like a refillable water bottle and some nuts and a granola bar is always a good security blanket when you haven't quite assessed the lunchtime situation yet.
2. Wear a neutral, comfortable outfit you feel confident in. This isn’t the best time to bust out a brand-new pair of heels you've never worn that could leave you miserable and with blisters. Go for something tried and true; your power outfit (we all have one). If you're worried your blouse is see-through or if you're tugging at your skirt all day, that is going to add so much unnecessary stress.
—MOLLY SLICKER, CONTRIBUTOR
The night before I started my first day at my current position, I did a small self-pamper night. I celebrated starting a new adventure by spending time doing things for myself I always think I never have time for. Painting my nails, a face mask, reading, color therapy, lighting a candle and diffusing oils, etc. It was a nice way to reward myself for all of my hard work and boost my confidence for the next day. It also helped keep me relaxed and well-rested.
—KATE PIERSON, CONTRIBUTOR
The best thing you can do is self-educate. I work in advertising, so it’s pretty much required for me to stay up-to-date on any and all digital and tech trends that surface. Anytime I feel insecure about a tech topic, I research it and try to learn as much as possible. Once I understand it and apply it to my field, I usually feel more confident speaking to these trends. If you’re worried AI will replace the need for your position, I would still recommend self-educating. Depending on the industry, there might be a big disadvantage to using AI.
—KATE PIERSON, CONTRIBUTOR
Until next week,
THE BWH ADVICE GURUS
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds. Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!