Asking For a Friend | Chapter 31
Advice from Babe to Babe
A lot of life’s most common challenges don’t come with helpful to-do lists or how-to guides. Luckily, the BWH Advice Gurus are here with stellar advice for all your sticky situations.
The standard process is to compile a list of projects that you're currently working on, recommending someone else to take over, then meeting with that person several times to make sure the hand off is 10/10. Personally, I would also work on putting together a list of things you want to pass down to other people.
–RAJKUMARI SUKNANDAN, CONTRIBUTOR
A brief list of ongoing projects is nice, especially if there are upcoming due dates. Be sure to make a note of any accounts you have the passwords for (if you work in marketing or communications, make sure you remove yourself as an admin before leaving). Also remember to turn in any company property you have (take-home laptops, company credit card, uniform, etc.). Lastly, be sure to talk to someone in HR about your benefits coverage ending and how to transfer your 401k if you’re enrolled.
–ALEXI STRONG GONZALEZ, CONTRIBUTOR
Run through your daily routine and make sure everything from big (ongoing projects and due dates) to small (“click the x button in the top right corner”), is covered in an exit document for whoever will be taking your place. Thank you notes are also always a welcome touch, and have helped me to process the change in a healthy manner before I clock out for the last time.
–MARA STROBEL-LANKA, BWH CREATIVE DIRECTOR
It's always a challenge to interface with people who are likely very busy. My short answer is to leave enough room for the person to breathe while making sure all of your action items are completed. Phone calls are also much better than emails because they can hear your voice and tone, and you can hear theirs. There are so many nuances to communication, and it's totally normal to wonder about the etiquette and balance.
–KELLY BABB, CONTRIBUTOR
If you feel like you are pestering, you may be right. The interview process is designed for you to come prepared with questions, as does the employer. If more questions come up after the interview, I would advise one email to ask them all at once, and the employer can then choose to answer via email or phone call. As much as you want this job and it is foremost on your mind, the employer may have a lengthy process ahead of them to make their decision and very little time each day to devote to the process. Having been in that very spot, I was not eager to be peppered with multiple requests for more time or information from a prospective employee. As a candidate you absolutely deserve all the information you need to make your decision if an offer is extended, but in between interviews try to keep your calm, keep your questions in list form, and maybe just wait until the next interview and ask them then.
–JULIE LANKA, BABE #206
My best advice is to remember that it's 100% NOT about you and is totally a projection of her own stuff. I've had so many mean girls in my life and I have absolutely, unfortunately, been one, too. It's SO hard not to take this kind of stuff personally but if you can, kill her with kindness and place your energy elsewhere.
–CHELSEA DUDEVOIRE, BWH FOUNDER + CEO
You, nor anyone else, have to be this person’s dumping ground while they choose to deal or not deal with their own negativity. I've encountered people like this and I usually separate myself from them as much as possible. It’s not confrontational to let her know that her opinions of you and your friends hold no weight (because they don’t). And if you choose not to say anything to her, I think Chelsea is right and you should just kill her with kindness.
–DOMONIQUE KING JACKSON, BABE #198
I say be direct and call her out! You can do so from a place of love and kindness and not from criticism. “Hey, I know we both strive to be inclusive and supportive of all women, so I wanted to bring to your attention some comments you’ve made of late that don’t feel like they accomplish that goal.” I personally appreciate when someone tells me that I’m falling short, because at least then I can fix it. If she isn’t receptive, at least you can know you stood up for what’s right. Just my two cents, but good luck!
–SYMONE DANIELLE, CONTRIBUTOR
Until Next Week,
—THE BWH ADVICE GURUS
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds. Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!