Asking For A Friend | Chapter 40
Advice from Babe to Babe
Looking to improve your time management or productively handle a mansplainer? This week’s round of advice has all the wisdom and no time for BS. Read up and ask away, the gurus are here to help.
2. I use the Get To Work Book for daily/weekly tasks. I start by writing down all meetings/calls/appointments for the day. Then, I can see where chunks of time exist. Based on those time chunks I schedule myself to work on specific tasks during those times. I usually try to pick three things I can accomplish. Also, I color-code everything.
A planner is your friend. It gives you a visual of your list, it is satisfying to cross things off and with things planned there is less chance of something falling through the cracks. I'm a big sticky note user, too, for immediate stuff.
–DOMONIQUE KING JACKSON, BABE #198
I suggest you start by considering your relationship to your time and the way you currently use it. The book “168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think,” by Laura Vanderkam, was life-changing. It’s a short but powerful read that forced me to examine why I “have time” for some things and I’m “too busy” for others. (But first, I had to convince myself I had the time to read it.)
–HEATHER CROTEAU, BWH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
I would write three serious facts and one fun one. For example: goal-oriented, loves to create and execute ideas, managed events that raised over 500k and loves to eat tacos.
–AIDEE CHAVEZ FRESCAS, CONTRIBUTOR
“When I was in first grade I punched a boy in the gut because he said I couldn’t play football with him.”
I feel like that pretty much sums up everything you’d ever need to know about what to expect from me.
Think of something someone has told you about yourself that surprised you, but also really hit home. It helps if it was from someone totally unexpected who's not usually very good at compliments or positive praise—that's how you know it's legit. My mother once told me I was "very loyal." Ever since, I have considered it my greatest quality.
–MAUREEN PORCELLI, BABE #80
Mansplainers are the worst! I would honestly call it out, if you can. Something like, “Why did you speak down to me like that?” Or “Can we focus on the task and not your perception of my emotions?” That usually helps me. You can also pull him aside and try to use this as an educational opportunity by listing your concerns, how they affect you and your coworkers and making specific, actionable requests of him so he can improve. The key with that is approaching him as pragmatically as possible. Giving away any emotion to people who don’t understand how emotion works gives them an excuse to tell themselves they don’t have to listen to you.
—HILLARY KIRTLAND, CONTRIBUTOR
I also find it helpful when I can connect with other women who will support me in meetings and address me properly. When I ran the Chamber in my community, I had an ally on the board who always appropriately referred to me as Madam President during formal meetings. It set the tone and eliminated comments early on about my being a “girl” and millennial.
–KARI WHALEY, BABE #188
I’m one of two women in a group of 50 engineers, so I can relate. I call it out, sometimes quite harshly (but nicely): “That’s sexist. Please treat me as you would my male peers.” Or, interrupt him when he’s talking in circles and say: “You don’t need to explain this to me. I understand. What’s your point?”
I’ve definitely come across as really harsh, but it’s effective and the guys know not to pull that shit anymore with me, or with my other female coworker (who is very shy, meek and quiet). Call that ish out, girl! He’s in the wrong
—THAIS LAGE, BABE #151
Until Next Week,
—THE BWH ADVICE GURUS
Asking for a Friend is Babes Who Hustle's weekly advice column that asks and answers the work-related questions on all of our minds. Looking for advice and guidance? Hit us with all of your questions below and stay tuned for next Wednesday's edition!